Joy

“Sometimes, being able to face the very thing that we fear leads us to the very thing that will bring us joy.”

Chris and I joke that our story resembles a Hallmark Holiday movie. Having our courtship be long-distance during a pandemic made it difficult to plan how to actually meet in person. I was adamant about him being the pursuer and coming out to visit me for our first meeting, but many of our attempted plans fell through.  Because of this, we decided that the name of our Hallmark Holiday movie would be Waiting ‘Til Forever. 

Finally, I gave in to flying to Rochester, New York to meet him during my Fall Break in October of 2020 if he at least drove there to “pursue” meeting me.  He agreed, and we met, dressed in fancy attire, in a gazebo at Maplewood Rose Garden.  

Since we spent so much time getting to know each other during our long-distance relationship, we knew each other’s hearts before we ever kissed.  It was a very joyful moment to hold his hands in mine for the first time and know that I never wanted to be away from him again. Luckily, since I let go of the idea that he had to pursue me, things worked out so that I was able to stay with him in New York without needing to say goodbye. 

It has been four years and two months since then, and we have been through so much together.  There have been many moments of joy mixed with many moments of frustration and struggle.   Our relationship began with a significant amount of talking and problem-solving, and that quality of our relationship has been what helps us manage the tougher times.  We don’t ignore the hard stuff; we are honest about how certain situations make us feel, and we listen to each other and try to resolve the situations with win-win outcomes. 

On Christmas day this year, I was challenged by something that Chris wanted to do that didn’t seem like the best idea to me.  After a wonderful breakfast at the Embassy Suites hotel, Chris asked me to go on a walk with him in the park that was just down the street.  It was very cold outside, and I was not dressed for a casual walk in a snowy park. However, he packed a hat, scarf, and gloves for me, and I decided that if it was something that he really wanted to do, I should be supportive.  It was Christmas, after all. 

Our walk started on a red, brick-lined path that led us to a small pond filled with ducks (some of them were even in a row).  The song “Angels We Have Heard on High” followed by my favorite Christmas carol, “O Come, All Ye Faithful” was playing from distant church bells.  There were many gazebos and springs of water along our path.  It was when Chris asked me to walk through 2-3 inches of snow to go into a gazebo with a well that made me wonder if something bigger was going on in that moment, and I felt glad that I didn’t fight him for going on a walk in the freezing snow. 

Once we were under the gazebo with the spring water flowing in the little well next to us, Chris put his hands on my shoulders and told me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  I told him that I wanted that too, to which he asked if I was sure.  When I said that I was sure, he pulled out a little wooden box from his pocket, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.  Not only did I say that I will marry him, but I also let out a very loud “Whooooooo hoooooooooooo.”  I felt deep, pure joy in that moment.  

Thinking about all that we had been through together to get to that moment made that moment so much more meaningful and joyful. 

Sometimes, letting go of the thing that we think we want or need will bring us to the very thing we didn’t know would bring us to the joy we were seeking.  Sometimes, giving into something that we don’t fully understand by having faith in the situation and outcome will propel us into the very thing that we have been “waiting ‘til forever” to know or have. Sometimes, being able to face the very thing that we fear leads us to the very thing that will bring us joy.