Acceptance
“I can accept what something currently is, but not agree with the idea that it is the best that it can be, and that has made all the difference.”
There is so much about life that baffles me. I have a difficult time accepting that people can say or do deeply cruel things to each other with no remorse. I also have a difficult time accepting that, with the world of information at our fingertips, people seem to be less knowledgeable. I find myself closing (and sometimes immaturely rolling) my eyes and breathing deeply while witnessing some of the ways people continue to live without any sense of accountability, so oblivious to how their actions affect others. There are so many more spiritual, political, and social ideologies that I struggle to accept, as well. All of these ideas are energy vampires in my brain, and giving them my attention leaves me drained.
Since I am aware that these ideas frustrate me, I can more easily recognize when they show up. When I am tired or hungry, these ideas are usually exacerbated, making them more difficult to battle. Once my basic needs are taken care of, I can more maturely approach these ideas. After practicing what The Serenity Prayer and The Wisdom Mind ideas preach, I can more easily control the only thing I truly have control over: my attitude and reaction to these ideas.
The Serenity Prayer reminds us to ask God to “grant [us] the serenity to accept the things [we] cannot change, the courage to change the things [we] can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I have a mug that has The Serenity Prayer etched into it. I would like to etch the words on my brain, too.
“Accepting the things I cannot change” is tough. I am a problem-solver, and those muscles are exercised on a daily (and sometimes hourly) basis. Anytime I see a problem, I want to solve it. I can usually generate multiple ways in which to solve the problem, so when there is an issue, problem, or thought that I cannot solve or figure out, it frustrates me. I don’t do well accepting that which I cannot change. Luckily, with humility, courage, and wisdom, I can change how frustrated I become in those situations. Going to counseling has really helped me practice “wisdom to know the difference.”
During one of our first sessions, my counselor gave me a handout that has been very helpful when struggling with acceptance. The helpful handout contains a Venn Diagram with The Rational Mind on one side and The Emotional Mind on the other, with The Wisdom Mind in the middle. While making quick decisions about something I really want, I usually use The Emotional Mind. Decisions that I try to avoid making are usually filtered through The Rational Mind. Being able to slow down and pay attention to the situation without allowing too much emotion or too much criticism has helped me see a variety of potential outcomes more clearly.
Sometimes, I don’t know how to accept when something is not the way I think it should be. I feel like if I accept the idea, I am agreeing to it being ok. However, my counselor told me, “you can accept something and still hope it gets better.” I like that balanced approach to acceptance. I can accept what something currently is, but not agree with the idea that it is the best that it can be, and that has made all the difference.
It is important to slow down and pay attention to why we might feel like some ideas or situations in life are difficult to accept. When we are able to wisely blend emotion and rationality and know the difference between what we can and cannot change, Acceptance has a more comfortable place to exist.